How not to steal the Declaration of Independance
by TurtleFriedRice
Summary: A collab between two writers based off a prompt where everyone's favorite cook and swordsman try and steal the DOI. Zosan.


**This is a collab piece written by myself and FF user Muffingirlbethan . She wrote 500 words, then I wrote 500 words. Thank's for writing with me Bethan! xoxo. We hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Sanji scowled at the bitter taste of the sparkling wine as it flowed over his tongue and trickled down his throat. Here he was standing in the National Archives wearing an Armani tuxedo and the only beverages this gala had to offer was just some goddam prosecco. He peered down at his watch discreetly and his pulse rate elevated when he observed that there was just five minutes left before the mission was a go.

Shit this was it, they were actually going to do it...they were going to steal the Declaration of Independence. It sounded impossible when Nami first proposed the idea to steal the precious artifact that was of immeasurable national and historical importance. However, as soon as the beautiful navigator explained that the only way to view the hidden treasure map that was imprinted on the back of the delicate parchment was to steal it, Sanji was one of the first to volunteer to be a part of this impossible mission.

But what made this mission even more impossible, which seemed pretty hard to achieve, was that he was teamed up with one of the most clueless, empty-headed, heedless and inattentive morons on the entire fucking planet, whom he had the greatest displeasure of knowing. Nami had suggested that with Sanji's brains and Zoro's brawn they had a better chance of successfully pulling this thing off, and although Sanji wouldn't dare doubt his brilliantly clever Nami-swan, he couldn't help but worry that the oblivious marimo would find a way to gloriously fuck this heist up and land both their asses in Guantanamo Bay.

Now that Sanji's thoughts were on the idiot swordsman, he scanned the crowd of wealthy party guests and tried to pick out the green head that stood out inconveniently against the shoal of black suits and beautifully elegant pastel dresses. Sanji nearly lost his grip on his glass of wine when someone bumped into his back and knocked him off balance slightly. Sanji composed himself briskly and spun around, only to find the idiot swordsman standing in front of him holding about 10 glasses of wine in his hands.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Sanji hissed, taking care to control the volume of his agitated voice.

Zoro downed two of the glasses, placed them on an empty platter that was being carried around by a passing waiter, "Trying to find something other than this watery shit. Shouldn't there be some quality alcohol at a party like this?"

Sanji's hands shook with the temptation of strangling the fucker right there and then, "How the fuck can you act so carelessly? You can't just go faffing about and doing your own thing, do you have any idea of what's at stake here?"

Zoro simply scratched the back of his head and yawned, "Will you calm the fuck down eyebrows, I left you for like 5 seconds." He then smiled cockily and tilted his head to the size, "Oh that's right, you can't even last _one_ second without me by your side".

Sanji growled severely and his shoulders shook with anger, "You arrogant son-of-a-bitch, the only reason I'm not fucking calm is because we're about to steal the fucking De-" Sanji was interrupted by a large calloused hand that covered his mouth and thankfully silenced him.

"Now who's the careless one," Zoro said with a smug grin.

Sanji pried the hand away and looked off to the side. Shit, he needed to pull himself together. "That was your fucking influence...bastard" Sanji spoke lowly.

It was then that a soft crackle buzzed in their ears. Both men stood up straighter, their eyes drifting among the attendee's. "Is this thing on? Sanji? Zoro?" It was Usopp, whispering into their ear pieces. "It's Usopp. We've cleared the way, so... Good luck! Don't die!"  
Sanji and Zoro exchanged unamused glances. Thanks for the advice. Sanji reached over, grabbing one of the left over glasses the marimo was holding and threw it back with ease. The brute finished the rest off and set them to the side. It was time to get to work. Sanji grinned.

"Try to keep up marimo," he jibed, starting his way through the crowd to their destination.

Zoro watched the blonde go, a scowl still painting his face. He rolled his shoulders back before annoyingly following him out. Stupid cook acting like he was some kind of pro. The swordsman was just waiting for the appropriate moment to call him out on it. With a hand slid into his pocket he followed a few paces behind so that any eyes watching wouldn't notice the pair of them on the move.

Sanji passed through the crowd almost silently, the occasional wink at a random beauty distracting him from his objective. Luckily Zoro was there to give a nice gentle, though in reality not gentle at all, shove to move him along. They exited the main ballroom towards the elevators. It wasn't unusual to find them there considering the place was usually an open place to the public. Their objective though, not so much.

Sanji reached into his coat's inner pocket and pulled out a special card Usopp had given them earlier. The cook's eyes met Zoro in a silent explanation. He slid it easily through the elevator's clearance and then strolled into the elevator with stride. This was going to be easy.

Or at least, it had seemed to be. They rode up the floors in silence, too annoyed at each other's presence as per usual to attempt small talk. Both couldn't help but grin though when the doors opened onto the floor of the preservation room. There were men in black suits strolling about casually.

"Looks like we've found the real party. Try not to hurt yourself cook."

Sanji let out a soft chuckle, reaching up to loosen his tie. He couldn't have asked for something better to calm his nerves. He shot Zoro a glare and held the button on his ear piece that allowed him to speak.

"How much time do we have Usopp?" He questioned, watching as the moron beside him was already moving to respond to the guards questioning their presence.

"I've cut the communications from this room but you've probably only got 15 minutes or so before anyone gets suspicious." The sharpshooter explained, thankful he was in a vehicle outside the structure instead of inside.

"Hey! Stop right there!" Called one of the guards, totally bringing the rest to acknowledge their existence. "This is a restricted area, you can't be here!"

But their shouts were futile. In mere moments the two were spreading out and across the room. "_Flanchet!_" A fine and expensive dress shoe slammed itself into the yelling guard's chest before sweeping down and around to knock two off their balance. "_Longe._"

Zoro, unable to smuggle his precious swords in for obvious reasons, relied on his no sword style. "_Mutoryu._" He announced, stopping only to spin near his opponents, creating a small vortex and causing them to fly back once he stopped, his arms out in front of him. As effective as if his swords had been there, minus the slicing. "_Tatsu Mak__i._"

In that same moment, Sanji had leaned back on his heels casually to avoid a swinging baton in the grip of a particularly vicious looking bodyguard but he managed to break the man's jaw when he launched both of his feet upward with a handstand kick. As soon as the heavy weight of the unconscious brute flopped onto the floor like a dead fish, Sanji rose back up to a standing position with his hands slipped into his pockets and his shoulders rolled back. However his suave stance was broken when Zoro sharply kicked the back of his heel and barged past him, "Stop acting like such a damn prissy." Sanji scoffed, swiftly hooked a foot around the swordsman's leg and managed to satisfyingly trip him up.

"Who the fuck are you calling a prissy you directionally challenged marimo!" Sanji spat after walking right up to Zoro's face and glared threateningly into his brown eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about, I know exactly where I'm going!" Zoro shouted, seething with anger and irritation.

"Oh is that so marimo? Well would you please care to explain why you were trying to walk back to the fucking elevator!?" Sanji shrieked as he pointed a finger in the direction Zoro was heading to before being gloriously tripped up.

Zoro made a choked sound and snapped his head to look in the direction Sanji was pointing to and sure enough the elevator doors were right there, almost laughing at him. He clicked his tongue and murmured a quick "Shut the fuck up cook", before grabbing a random unconscious guard and hoisting him over his back with little effort. Sanji stomped over to the locked door that lead into the preservation room, the very room which the Declaration of Independence, the key to finding the treasure they'd been searching for years for, was being kept in. Sanji, in the least gentle way possible, grabbed hold of the guard's limp wrist and placed his thumb over the biometric scanner. There was a brief moment of tension as the two men both stared intensely at the screen which would decide if their mission was going to turn out to be a success or a miserable failure. They both let out relieved sighs when the words "Fingerprint recognized: Access Granted" appeared on the screen above the scanner. Zoro unceremoniously discarded the guard by dropping him on the floor and followed Sanji into the white and clinical preservation room.

Sanji took a few moments to gaze curiously at the invaluable document that was resting so innocently atop an illuminated desk in the middle of the room. He held a hand to his ear as he spoke into the microphone, "Okay Usopp, we're in, how're we doing for time?"

"Yosh good work, you've got about ten minutes so just grab the thing and get outta there" Usopp said with anxiety in his voice. He couldn't quite believe that they had gotten this far without being caught out; everything seemed to be going so well...almost too well.

Sanji reached into his breast pocket and picked out a miniscule electronic screwdriver and set to work on removing the parchment from its thick bullet-proof casing.

Carefully he held the side of the plated document, starting at its screws. He needed to be extremely careful, should any hidden alarms be installed on the prize. Zoro watched on unamused, perhaps feeling the turn of events went boring.

"Just cut it." He suggested.

Sanji rolled his eyes, pausing for a moment and to glare at the Marimo. Just cut it? Right, because that was all that seemed to ever go through the swordsman's head.

"You can't just cut glass you neandertha-" Sanji stopped himself, watching the smug expression appear on Zoro's face. Oh he had forgotten, this idiot actually thought he could cut through glass. He was probably just waiting for a moment to throw it back in Sanji's face that he should've been able to bring his swords.

"Oh shut up you'd end up cutting the whole thing! Shit head." He cursed, going back to work.

The top of the casing popped off with ease, which the cook tossed over to the side. Then, hesitant at first, he reached for the document. He was never one to be patriotic but he couldn't help but be a tad in awe about what he was actually about to touch. That was of course until he saw a familiar tan hand reach out and snatch it first.

He watched in horror as the swordsman lazily rolled it up and held it at his side. His eyebrow was raised at Sanji, curious as to what was taking so long. Weren't they running out of time or something? Sanji let out a growl of irritation, snatching the document from him.

"You idiot! You can't just roll it up like that!" He scolded, unfolding it and then rolling it up in a more neatly manner.

"The hell? It's just a piece of paper."

Sanji's curly eyebrow began to twitch. "You could have ruined Nami's map!"

Zoro understood then. So that's what the cook was worried about. He let out an annoyed huff. "Oh right, forgot. You're precious _Nami-swan._"

Hearing Nami's name come off Zoro's tongue like that made Sanji want to kick his skull in, but he opted not to. Somehow he just knew if the police came investigating after he left and found the green headed moron, they'd be able to trace him back to the crew.

"Let's just get out of here." He grumbled lowly instead, holding their objective at his side before starting off towards the other exit. For reasons they weren't about to go down the same way they had come. Should one of those guards feel the need to reawaken, they could be in a tight spot. They'd go down the other way.

"Wait. Sanji, Zoro." Usopp's voice returned. Both the swordsman and the cook would be lying if they said it wasn't getting a little annoying. "I'm still working on this one."

His voice seemed a little nervous; they could practically imagine him shaking. Zoro narrowed his eyes.

"How long?" was his only response.

"Might be about... 8 more minutes...?" Usopp squeaked.

Sanji's eyes widened and he swore. Eight minutes? They only had about 9 minutes left before the alarms went mad. That meant after this they'd have to hurry the hell out of there in only a minute or so before lock down.

"Fine. Just keep working on it."

Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew this was going way too smoothly. Leave it to reality to throw in a curve ball. His eyes wandered to Zoro who was standing beside him, his arms crossed at his chest. His cheeks threatened to flush at the thoughts that crossed his mind. He hadn't really noticed before but, Zoro was in a suit. He was in a suit and he looked good.

He swallowed kind of thickly, then set the Declaration down. Zoro watched as he stepped closer, turning towards him and grabbing at his tie. His expression screamed annoyed, maybe at the way Zoro's tie had gone out of place, but his body language and aura told another story. Zoro grabbed Sanji's hand that held his tie.

"Oi, Cook." He said low, a smug grin on his face. "We still have time to celebrate."

Thank god, Sanji thought to himself, he didn't even need to go through the trouble of asking. His heart rate began to increase to levels his body still wasn't used to when Zoro closed the space between them and pressed his firm, hot body against Sanji's, after which he proceeded to smile hungrily and reached around to grab at Sanji's ass.

"I don't think I ever got to tell you this before but, you look so fucking hot tonight cook," Zoro whispered onto Sanji's neck as he hovered his lips over the pale, creamy skin and expelled heated puffs of breath that sent shivers down Sanji's spine. Sanji paid no mind to the moan that his body forced him to release and just leaned in to the swordsman's zealous touch. Yes this probably wasn't a good idea, yes this wasn't exactly the best place to do this and of course they were still in danger of being caught. But if there's one thing that Sanji had learned after being with the idiot marimo all this time, it's that when a once in a lifetime opportunity presents itself to you, it's better to take a chance, forget reason and just…go for it.

Sanji seized the back of Zoro's head and attacked his lips with an insatiable and ravenous kiss. Zoro approved of Sanji's enthusiasm by sending a deep and gravelly moan that echoed through Sanji's mouth and bounced its way down his throat.

Zoro brought both his hands up, cupped the cook's face and took control of the kiss by breaching Sanji's mouth with his tongue. Soon both men's heads were tilting this way and that and the sucking motions made by their lips produced fierce and competitive nips and pecks which showed no sign of ceasing. That was until Zoro decided to take back full control by pushing Sanji backward into a metal cabinet and craned his neck upward as he lifted the cook's body using his knee and slid him against the metal.

The swordsman couldn't control his hands from exploring underneath Sanji's close-fitted white shirt; they snaked up the lithe and wriggling body of the cook and tenderly rubbed against his already hardening nipples.

Sanji drew back his lips in order to take in a sharp breath and practically slammed his head against the cabinet when Zoro trailed a hot, wet tongue against his neck and began to playfully nip and bite softly at the skin. Sanji dropped his head into the green hair below him and deeply inhaled the swordsman's musky scent through his nose. He let out yet another humiliatingly loud gasp when Zoro suddenly grabbed the sensitive area between his legs and he looked down at Zoro's smug face with a clouded scowl.

"Wow cook hard already huh? Your body must've become too sensitive to the amount of attention I'm giving it" Zoro said with a predatory grin.

Sanji eyebrow twitched and he let out angered, raspy pants. This cocky fucker, he should realize that two worthy opponents are required if you wanted a mind-blowing battle, not just one. Sanji retaliated by hooking both his legs around the swordsman's midsection and rolled his hips rhythmically against Zoro's own erection. Sanji grinned ecstatically when a deep and grating moan travelled past his ears but his heartbeat increased even faster when a desperate hand grabbed at the buckle of his belt.

"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Commencing system lock-down immediately!" Both men's hands regrettably left each other's bodies in favour of covering their ears to block out the deafening noise of the alarm.

"Shit!" Sanji half moaned in irritation.

Just their luck that this would happen. Their eyes met and Sanji's face only flushed more. This would need to be postponed. Zoro looked annoyed as per usual and for a split second Sanji had to wonder if he planned to continue on, despite the fact the alarms were now blaring. He was still leaning in close. Sanji couldn't understand his 'I don't give a shit, I do what I want' attitude.

Sanji pushed him away, receiving a low growl in response, and went about straightening his clothes. He had gotten so caught up in the moment; he was actually kind of embarrassed about giving in to his desire. He snatched up the Declaration uncomfortably.

"Usopp what's happening?" He choked out.

The line was silent for a few more seconds, which only angered the two men considering they didn't have seconds to waste, before Usopp's voice came back.

"I uh… told you... a few minutes ago the elevator was ready...but you seemed occupied."

Zoro tilted his head to the side for a moment. Did he? Well, it was completely possible that the sharp shooter had said something but obviously their focus had been elsewhere. But how did he know that they'd be occupied...unless? Oh god. The swordsman and cook exchanged horrified expressions.

Sanji slapped his face. This was the worst! Could anything else be going so wrong? He smacked his precious palm down on the elevator's button, rushing in as the doors opened. Zoro followed in.

"Cook." He mumbled on their decent down. His scowl darkened. "We might need to make our own exit if things are locking down."

Sanji nodded. Yeah he knew that, moron. Geez! There were more pressing matters at hand, like the fact Usopp had heard them! And if Usopp had heard them from his speakers in the van, Franky who was their driver probably heard them too! There was no way in hell one of them wouldn't let something slip later, one of his precious ladies could hear about this! Could this whole plan get any worse?! He tightened his grip on the document. This better be the best fucking treasure ever.

It was then that another alarm began blaring inside the elevator as it came to an abrupt halt. It was a pre-recorded message asking them to stay calm while the lock down is dealt with. Sanji slammed the Declaration on the ground and glared at the elevator's speakers.

"Are you FUCKING kidding me?!"

At this point Sanji disregarded his earlier decision not to smoke around such valuable documents. They could burn to hell or reek of smoke, cause he needed his fix. This was going to be a long night.

Zoro was already onto the next step though. He glanced up at the overhead. In the movies there was always a hatch there too? Though, if he had his swords he could easily slice apart the doors and see how close to the next floor they really were. He stepped forward and touched the metal. He could pry them apart.

"You can't be serious." He heard Sanji mumble from behind, taking his first drag of his cigarette. Apparently he had read his mind.

Zoro glanced back at him, glaring. "Are you planning to stick around and get caught with that?" He gestured to the document with his eyes.

Sanji extended his neck and looked away. Shitty marimo asking him shitty questions like that. Of course he wasn't. Zoro didn't wait for his answer and began to work on the doors.

Sanji meanwhile observed that the only number that was illuminated on the set of elevator buttons was the number 2. So, they had stopped on a floor meaning that as soon as the marimo manages to open those doors, as long as there were no guards waiting for them, they still had a chance to get away. Sanji narrowed his eyes,

"Usopp can you get a visual on floor two, check if there are any guards hanging around".

Sanji received some clicking noises and the sound of Franky and Usopp muttering something to each other in his earpiece and was soon followed by Usopp saying "Bad news Sanji there's a whole group of guards at the end of the hallway to your right as soon as you exit the elevator. They look like they're trying to calm down the VIP guests so it may be possible to sneak past them."

Sanji sighed irritatedly, "A confrontation is the last thing we need right now. Get Franky to start up the van, now!"

"Eh? But you guys aren't even-"

"Just start the van god dammit!" Sanji shouted into the microphone. He clicked his tongue as he bent down to pick up the downright _annoying _piece of parchment and tried to conceal it behind his jacket as best as he could, "Oi marimo pry those doors open already!"

"I'm …working on it…damn cook," Zoro managed to say through gritted teeth. He anchored his right leg on the edge of the doorframe, and put all his strength into pushing with his right arm and leg and pulling with his left arm. Eventually, he managed to wrench both doors open wide enough for Sanji to exit the elevator by ducking under his arm. Zoro exited in a less coordinated manner when he flung his body out to the side and managed to avoid any of his limbs getting caught in the doors as they snapped shut. Just as he managed scrabble back up from the floor a wary looking guard started to approach them with a skeptical look, "H-hey you guys aren't authorized to use that elevator." Zoro changed his position slightly and curled his hands into fists; however a hand on his chest stopped him from advancing any further.

"We're not looking for a fight here, you could risk injuring those civilians", Sanji whispered next to him.

Zoro peered past the other guards that were now advancing closer and his brows furrowed when he saw the frightened looks of the innocent party guests, "Well then cook what do _you_ suggest?"

Sanji felt around his pockets and grabbed a handful of the small marble sized objects that were huddled together in one corner and wasted no time in launching them at the ground space between them and the guards. A huge cloud of black smoke came bursting out of the capsules and it quickly spread through the hallway. Sanji grabbed a handful of Zoro's shirt and yanked it as hard as possible, not caring in the least if it ripped.

He hauled the swordsman down the hallway to their left and, after managing to escape the cloud of smoke; Sanji retracted his hand and let Zoro run freely without assistance.

"Where the hell are we going cook?" Zoro shouted. Sanji broke out into a full speed charge towards the end of the hall where the key to their escape was located and Zoro made sure to match his intense speed.

"Zoro when I tell you to jump-you jump!"

Usopp, who was watching them both on the monitors, made a slight noise of surprise and yelled a command to their getaway driver.

Zoro eyed Sanji suspiciously, glancing back down at the hall. There was no where they could go down here unless…there was only a window. Surely the cook didn't mean to jump through it! Right?

"Oi! Cook!" He began, but he was too late. Sanji forcefully took his hand.

"JUMP!" Sanji jumped off his foot in full force, swinging to kick through the glass.

Zoro, his hand locked with Sanji's, jumped also. They plunged themselves off of the second floor and into the air. They could see the guards that were starting to create a barrier watch them as they flew majestically. Zoro swallowed thickly, his vision going blank as their hands separated. Shit.

Their leap was cut short though as both men made contact with the top of a van. Much to their delight, it belonged to Franky.

"Hold on!" Their driver instructed through his window, before stepping on the gas. He didn't even try to weave around the security men.

Zoro dropped down and held onto a side of the van, the cook who had landed beside him doing the same.

"The hell cook?" snarled Zoro as they made a sharp turn into traffic, regardless if they could or not. Several honks and swerves followed.

Sanji glared at the Marimo. "Did you have a better plan?" He yelled back over the wind.

So they had made it out, for now, in one piece, but who knew how long that would last. They weren't in the clear yet. Several police cars that had been placed had turned around and begun to follow them. Zoro glanced back over his shoulder. There were even news helicopters in the distance, preparing their spotlights.

Sanji cursed out loud. They needed to get off the radar and quick. It was one thing inside the building, but as the only car racing away down the street in opposite traffic, it was pretty obvious who had done the deed.

"Yosh!" Franky pressed an auto-pilot button on his dash and stuck his head out of the window. "Hold on, we're gonna get out after this over pass!" He called up to them.

Both men yet again exchanged glances then looked at the cop cars behind them. They were in the distance for now, but they still didn't understand why they were going to get out. Perhaps Franky had a different plan? The overpass came quick as they sped under it and merged onto the shoulder.

Usopp slammed the back doors of the van open and tumbled out. Franky jumped from his seat to the side of the van. Sanji slid off the side while Zoro jumped down. Usopp was nervously sweating.

"What are we doing?! Franky we're like sitting ducks!" he cried.

Franky just nodded, his super grin never leaving his face. He pulled out a small device. "Watch this!"

Though Sanji didn't feel comfortable watching his new toy. He was more concerned with the red and blue lights getting closer and closer.

Zoro however was intrigued. The van's outer panels began to move, similar to something he'd seen in a transformers movie. Another set of panels came out and over lapped them, the whole exterior of the vehicle changing. It stopped once it had fully changed from a van into a dark regular appearing car.

"Alright! Franky's super criminal car." Announced their blue haired friend. "Let's get in!"

They didn't need to hear it twice. Usopp took the front seat while the cook and swordsman hurried into the back. They pulled back onto the road with ease and watched as the police lights zoomed past them. It was only then they had all realized they'd been holding their breath.

Sanji slumped back into the leather seat and balanced the Declaration of Independence on his lap before wiping away the sweat on his forehead, "Well...we got it".

"I sure as fuck hope that damn treasure is worth this amount of effort," Zoro grumbled next to him. Sanji flicked his crumpled cigarette out of the rolled down window and decided against lighting another one up, "Tch I just hope this thing doesn't just lead us to another damn clue, I don't think I can stand to see my precious Nami-swan's face look so disappointed anymore."

"Mah in any case are you guys okay? That was crazy what you did back there, jumping out of that window like that. No-one broke anything right?" Usopp asked while looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah we're fine. It'll take a much bigger fall than that to actually do any damage to me," Sanji said smugly.

"Liar" Zoro said loud enough so that all the passengers could catch it.

"Haah?!" Sanji shrieked. Zoro simply tapped his cheek and said, "Blood". Sanji tilted his head slightly in confusion and pressed fingers to his own cheek and clicked his tongue when he felt a warm liquid under his fingertips. Hm…must've been cut by a stray piece of glass when they jumped through the window.

"Tell Chopper about it when we get back," Zoro murmured. Sanji aggressively wiped away the blood and looked out of the car window like a moody teenager, "It's just a shitty little cut."

"If you say so cook...oi Franky! We heading to your place?" Zoro shouted to the driver.

"Yep everyone's already there waiting for us!" Franky called back.

"Yosh," Zoro yawned, "I'm gonna take a nap, wake me up when we get there."

"How the hell can you be so relaxed Zoro? We were just chased by the police!" Usopp squawked and stole a paranoid glance in the rear view mirror just to make absolutely sure no law enforcement of any kind was following close behind them.

"It's no big deal, in fact you should get used to that seeing as we kind of stole something which holds pretty much the same value as the Mona Lisa," Sanji said calmly.

"W-w-we're gonna give it back right?" Usopp stuttered.

"I guess so but err Nami said it might not be in the same condition as it is now once she's finished with it," Zoro said after crossing his arms behind his neck. Usopp gulped dramatically and tried to stop his knees from quivering so violently. Oh god, what had they gotten themselves into?

By the time they had arrived to Franky's house there were helicopters high in the sky searching. From turning on the radio for a few minutes they could hear as people were asking for any information about men in their description. Zoro seemed pretty proud about it, Sanji not so thrilled. He held his head low as they hurried into the building, the document under his arm.

"Sanji! Zoro!" A laughing Luffy shouted, bouncing about the room. He stopped in front of them, a massive grin on his face. "You're on the TV!"

Sanji swallowed thickly and glanced at the TV screen behind his captain. Sure enough there was still an image of Sanji and Zoro from their earlier adventure. Robin and Chopper were still listening to it intently.

Nami however jumped up from her seat, her eyes wide with excitement. She snatched the document from Sanji.

"I'll take that!" She announced, and then unraveled it.

"Ah, Nami-swan~ I knew you'd be so happy to have it." Swooned Sanji. Zoro rolled his eyes and went off to listen to what the news anchors were saying.

Usopp hurriedly closed the window blinds as a helicopter went by. "They must be searching the whole city!" he gasped in amazement.

Nami scanned the document up and down, her eyes narrowing at the words. She flipped it around and headed for the kitchen table. "We'll see." She mumbled in regards to her happiness. "If my sources are correct the hidden map is on the back."

Chopper jumped down from his seat and quick stepped towards Sanji.

"Sanji! What happened to your cheek! Hear let me fix it-"

"Chopper, I'm fine. Honest." Sanji said in his defense, gesturing the reindeer to shoo with his hand.

Zoro snorted from his new seat in front of the television. "Hell you are. Look at that shit-cook." He turned and glanced at him, a toothy grin. "They caught us."

Sanji's face flushed an intense red as he watched the station play back security footage. "Shit shit shit shit." He ran, leaping over the couch where sweet Robin-chan was seated and jabbed the power button with nearly enough force to break it.

"Dammit Luffy! Don't eat the lemons!" Scolded Nami as she slapped the back of his head. They had just finished squeezing lemon juice on the fragile paper.

She set the left over to the side and picked up the hairdryer she had beside her. Then, as everyone seemed to glance over in suspense, she turned it on and waved it over the document, waiting to see the map appear. Everyone's hearts stopped and it all went silent a few moments. Franky awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Huh..." Nami sighed, lifting up the paper just to glance at it in the light. "I guess it wasn't like in the movie." She turned and looked at her nakama's faces. "Oh well."

Sanji's body tensed. What? They had just risked their lives, were in a hellish mess with the authorities and there wasn't even a map?! Everyone exchanged glances, Zoro let out a belt of laughter because he somehow just knew this would happen, but never the less enjoyed the ride.

"Nami-swan...?"

That's when the sound of a megaphone from outside Franky's house caught all their attention. The sound of several helicopter blades slicing through the air created a noise that made even Sanji's blood run cold and a fluorescent blue light cut through the gaps between the blinds and spilled out onto to the walls and carpet. Brook, who had been polishing his violin in the corner while the commotion was going on simply got up from his seat and strolled to the window. He pulled back the blind and glanced out.

"Yohohohohohoho! Looks like they've found you."

* * *

**Hiya everybody! It's muffingirlbethan! Man this fic was so fun to write and it was so great to write with turtlefriedrice -she's a very talented writer ^^ I'm so proud of what we produced and I really hope you enjoyed it too! Please review, fav and follow! Peace out!**

_Imagine your OTP stealing the Declaration of Independence_


End file.
